Here we are again, the day before I get cut open a second time. I can't say I'm especially looking forward to it, though I feel better about this time than the last time, because at least I've been through it once before and I know what to expect. I have felt a bit more vulnerable today than usual, though, and have been aware of a little nervous knot in the pit of my stomach that I've tried to ignore, but is definitely there. I guess I'm getting another little taste of my own medicine. Once again I'm facing the reality that pretty much any time my patients are coming to see me they won't really be looking forward to it, and they might, in fact, be terrified. Great!
In order to distract myself, the last couple days I've been shopping like mad to get ready for my upcoming trip. I had to buy a bigger suitcase, in fact, because after all the stuff that I bought as Christmas gifts for my "family" over there, and all the stuff they've asked me to bring over, my entire suitcase was full without any room for clothes or other personal items. I'm going to have a very empty suitcase coming home! It's good, though. I'm happy to be able to bring it all over for them. Now we just have to pray that at each point in my travels where I need to actually lift my suitcase there will be some kind soul who will help me. I think I'll wear an extra-conspicuous splint in those particular circumstances...and ask for angels along the way. I've found myself in the store buying loads of prenatal vitamins, which one person asked for, and in another store buying men's socks and underwear, which another woman wants to put in her husband's stocking (awkward!). I actually ran into one of my good friends when I was buying the prenatal vitamins, and had a bit of explaining to do!
Last night I was staying in the beautiful home of some good friends of mine. In their guest room they have a very large bathtub, long enough to stretch out in completely, and deep enough for a good foot or more of water. And the back kind of reclines, so you don't have to have your head totally submerged while you're lying in deeper water. So there I was surrounded by a mound of bubbles...pure bliss, really. And while I was doing that I decided to go through the Scriptures I've been working on memorizing recently. It started with the book of James, and I found myself reciting, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." I actually stopped and laughed out loud - it seemed almost ridiculous that I was basking in the world's best bubble bath and quoting scriptures about trials and perseverance. Just didn't quite fit, somehow.
Anyways...where was I? Oh yeah, so my plan for the next couple weeks is as follows: surgery tomorrow, then stay at my parents' for a few days. Then next week I have to finish my research portion of my research project that has been at a standstill since the end of July. That'll involve about 150 or so medical charts to review and extracting the relevant data from them. Fun! Then the following week I'll be having my follow-up appointment with the surgeon, and then be leaving on a jetplane on Dec 13. I'll be back home Dec 27. And then Jan 2 is when I start back full-force into my surgical work again - so my hands need to be okay by then.
My ICU rotation finished at the end of last week. I was glad to be moving on, but it had been a good 2 months. I learned a ton, and will be that much more comfortable looking after patients now that I've spent two months looking after the sickest ones. I've also thought through a lot of ethical dilemmas, and worked through many emotionally charged situations, which has been challenging, but good.
I also got the happy news a week or two ago that the Principles of Surgery exam that I have to write in April (a requirement of the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada) costs an extra $510 on top of the $460 I paid back in April. I thought that fee in April was the exam fee, but no, it was the "assessment of training fee," whatever that means! Apparently it costs them that much to determine whether I'm truly a surgical resident, and whether I'm truly eligible to write this exam. I don't really know why anyone who wasn't a surgical resident WOULD write this exam, mind you, but I don't make the rules - I just fork over the cash. But I'm not bitter or anything.
I think that's all I have to say for now. Stay tuned...
